tummy aches...

juz had diarrhoea & the tummy still feels bad...so i ate bao qi wan & hope it wks...

it shd be the following which is causing the major discomfort:
- been eating too much junk fd lately: i'm craving 4 fd all the time, juz ask thy BF...it was rather bad;
- the bbq meal on sat...too much chilli, thy BF had his D the whole day yday. the fd wasn't tat gd & we had 2 suffer...the stall is boycotted by us liao.
- ate too much at ajisen juz now...maybe thy tummy doesn't like my menu 4 the whole day liao & i had 2 strain it 4 1 more time juz now.

anyway, i feel better now. tin the pills wks :) dun really wish 2 take mc tmr. dun wan 2 justify myself as MC Q. hmm, i tin i am...other than ZJ...haha.

it was nice 2 c NHSS gang juz now...how time has filed. A Drain is getting married nex yr...wah...nvr really expected him 2 be the 1st out of us all. he seems like a little boy yday. everyone has really got their own life & path altho when u start toking abt the gd old times, it always felt itz only yday since we kept hanging out tog almost everyday. itz juz a diff feeling hanging out wif these buncha frens...u c how everyone has grown & chg (altho some ppl seems 2 remain the same) over the yrs...i wonder how it will be like when we become parents. i wonder how coconut will be in future (or will he come out aft all =P) & will we be gd parents (i sure he's a gd kid) or i might go crazy like yinghui...haha.

so itz the start of a new wk again. i got some 'serious' wk 2 complete which i hope i can? luckily (& hopefully) got S 4 company & we can laugh our heads off again. we had starbucks, coffee bean & spinellis 4 lunch 3 days last wk, so i can say starbucks got this nice chicken sandwich, coffee bean got this nice chicken pasta & spinellis got this nice ebony cake. cun decide who had the better coffee, they all taste rather similar...normal kopi is nicer & cheaper...ha.

a bit tired liao...shd sleep.

i'll stop, no migraine pls.

super cute (in me & Fat's opinion) baby pooh frm hk...fat wans 2 more & 肯先生 was nice enough 2 help buy (no promise he'll be even 2 get one or the rite ones...haha...reminds me of S, a great lunch kaki, remember the crazy vivocity lunch...maybe nex wk). wanted it as a phone pouch but decided itz a waste. still no pants tho...even the baby is 暴露狂...bad toy...haha.

i'm in a crisis now...my resume & cover letter badly nids a revamp or i'm nvr even gg 2 find a job & tat will mean staying in current job! OH NO!! DUN WAN!! WUWU!! anyone wif an updated resume or cover letter 2 help? gosh, i cun stand the tot of myself staying beyond aug. will get help no matter wat, getting out is priority no. 1!

time 2 sleep...dun wan the migraine again tmr =(

countdown 2 nex break: 25 days!! too long lah...

btw, the 1st person who traumatised me downright on my 1st job in XX has quitted! someone says time will heal all wounds...i tin itz rather applicable coz as the traumatisation goes twds a 1-yr anniversary, i'm starting 2 tin itz not tat bad aft all, juz tat it was my 1st time & it went tat way. there r worse ppl ard anyway. itz bad news 4 S tho...wonder how she will react.

i tin i'm a stubborn person...& am i vy insistent on my views? probably...i find it contradicting...my views made me who i am yet i hav 2 learn 2 succumb 2 other views at times. hmm, well, ya baby, listening is gd too =)

i'm a bit hooked on House & CSI NY lately...the atmospheres r rather diff in the 2 shows & they provide a gd mix. therez sort of hunks in both shows which doesn't hurt at all...keke. itz a take away frm reality at times too, while i'm amazed at the technology they used in the show, wat happened in the shows seems too gd 2 be true at times. murders get solved & murderers get caught all the time & therez a genius doctor ard. how nice. maybe eric cartman is more realistic. a bad encounter on a bus ride last sat convinced me our younger generation might be heading cartman's way...swearing at a young age. they reckon itz cool...hopefully they will noe wat an embarrassment they r 1 day.

damn, bobby chinn world asia (or some title) is on tv now...a show i wanted 2 catch 4 sometime 2 c if itz nice as i tot.

sure hope therez no migraine later.

btw, transformers was rather nice. i like bumblebee, he's cute & yellow. optimus prime was rather charming. they shd give the autobots more screen time...they r cuter. megatron is yucky tho, he looks like Green Goblin enlarged.

AH, pls dun give me the migraine!!

btw, i wonder y my migraine is back big time nowadays, i juz tot i hadn't had it 4 sometime the other day & it has haunted me again...haiz.

okay, bedtime. no tv, computer, juz sleep.

shit, now i'm afraid of insonmia =(

coz even tho i go 2 bed tired nowadays, i can end up tossing & turning & not being able 2 sleep =(

1 of those kinda days again...

i shd be sleeping...itz only wed...cun help but wish time pass faster at times. rather contradictory, i dun wan 2 grow old tat soon, wan 2 continue enjoying things i love but hope unpleasant things can pass faster. am i someone who craves a lot 4 freedom or itz the circumstances i'm in now...i wish i hav the time & $$$ 2 do wat i like...i muz be patient...all will come soon...i muz wk hard.

hmm, missing this place a tad...hard 2 believe it has been a few yrs liao...

btw, starhub is increasing cable tv prices again ... $$%%^&^*( ( @@ ... as a finance person, i understand the need 4 profits but i cun help feeling let down as a consumer...time & again, we r being made 2 pay 4 profits like even public tpt which concerns public interest but therez no improvement in the services at all. sometimes we cun be blamed 4 being nonchalant twds country matters bcoz itz really so-wat-if-we-speak-up, sometimes we r still being completely ignored. no one seems interested in our words & how tough everything is getting 2 be.

itz 1 of these nites i dun seem 2 wan sleep but reality mks it tat i hav 2...hope all working days pass by vy quickly vy soon!!!

slacking day 1...hopefully

itz a tad of a crazy day tdy...1st thing in the morn, i tot i'll be slacking the whole day at wk...how nice. then S & Jenn tempted me 4 k-lunch & we set off in less than 20 mins...OMG!! shhhhhhhhhhhh...this is a secret. we were so surprised 2 find a Q in front of us, well, we basically tin we can hav the whole place 2 us since itz tat early...bad bad bad. the 3 of us were so excited we were laughing like crazy throughout the ktv, we couldn't finish our songs...i tried 2 sing a-mei's cinderella & basically only sang this syallable throughout the entire song bcoz i was laughing vy badly. btw, the lunch was nice...nicer than cck's...gd but we got so tired in the end, we were inserting each other's songs 2 avoid singing...haha. nice times, great company...something memorable again. not 2 mention the scare i had at the start of session...got a call frm ofc saying they nid my help & i had the guts 2 say aft lunch...okay, wat i was asked 2 help was nothing impt anyway...i spent the rest of the aft asking & finding ppl if i can help...bliemy...& doing a despatch & righting something umprofessional i was forced 2 do earlier. the day is still quite gd.

i got worried abt my prospects aft gg 4 an agency interview last wk & i was bawling over it aft tat...poor bf who had 2 scold & comfort me...vy poor thing...haiz. tried 2 tin abt happier things...but U told me this morn my pro nvr occured 2 him b4...hmm i nid 2 find out more frm him.

gg back 2 wk was vy tough this morn aft a 2 wks' break...luckily itz a slacking day...missing hk a bit...& i wondered y. i tin i love hols & not being in sg nowadays. hk was vy vy sunny & hot but i wld say itz a great trip except i can better ctrl myself at times. the senior citizen's club can be frustrating at times. maybe the only regret was not hvg enough time 2 c macau. obviously shuttling between the casino & ferry terminal & walking a bit ard the area isn't seeing macau but well, SCC was vy happy abt the trip, so tat mks it...it was 4 this main purpose tat we r there. 2 some surprises, i din buy a lot there...therez really a diff between travelling wif frens or family sometimes...SCC looks so sian half the time we shopped but we hav 2 let FAT shop mah. our fave part of the trip was the buddha statue on lantau island...it was gigantic & grand...vy magnificent...& we had a vy hard time climbing the 200+ flights of steps...was panting vy badly by the time i reached...nids more exercise huh. the bus ride up the PEak was rather exciting...like a rollercoaster ride but itz an entirely diff experience frm the tram & i got 2 c the wonderful night view...it was vy beautiful & sadly, our skyline really dun match 2 theirs...therez really no fight. the wax muesum was a letdown tho...maybe i was expecting more. it ended so suddenly & i even specially cut short the causeway bay shopping trip 2 accomodate it, not 2 mention the jay chou is not anywhere near the real thing & looks scary. disneyland was so-so in my view but still worthed a look coz itz disneyland & we already spent quite a bit at the emporium b4 touring the other parts. it was rather small & all the rides are vy family-friendly. donald duck seems 2 be hvg a break tho...din c him anywhere 4 photo-taking...anti-social.

ooh...tin this is enough...time 2 sleep & hope itz another slacking day tmr.

blessings frm buddha:

i nid 2 be satisfied wif life & wat it has given me so far. be patient.

the most disgusted day of my life so far...

i'm totally disgusted!! i nvr tot i'll meet someone like this in my life...mks me lose control & if i really can, i'll kick him 2 mars man. always pushing us 2 the forefront & throwing all the stuffs at us, dunno wat they paid him 4...we r so desparate 4 ppl tat any idiot can join us & get paid so much but leaves all the jobs 2 the rest...wat kinda shit is this?! & we hav 2 ensure all these shit, i hope he gets a vy long & good scolding tmr (this is bad i noe :p). i get so totally stressed...my gum ache (i keep telling everyone i tin it might be gum cancer...S said i'm exagerrating again...but y not, i hav been feeling stressed 4 a prolonged period) is back wif utter vengenace...itz hurting more than b4...my mom wld say i 发热 (tatz wat SC said too but she din discourage me 2 not hav fries this aft...bad fren). thy BF tries 2 console me by suggesting an infection but i'm not hvg a fever (we came up wif this theory of confirming that u hav an infection...tat is 2 hav fever bcoz itz the 1st sign ur body's fighting against the infection), so itz not an infection which i love 2 believe too...sob. i'm also stucked betweem seeing a doctor or dentist 4 it...y muz such things happen? bad karma? maybe laughing too much opening abt shiling & secretly abt her pri sch mate does reap its cause...i shd try 2 refrain but i'm seeing her again this fri...oops.

i juz remembered something & wan 2 use this 2 remind thy BF, yes the HK trip is less than a wk away...so where is my headphone cover & the southpark episodes tat were supposed 2 go into the hp? heehee

i wish 2 go 4 a haircut...swim again...hopefully i can do them over the weekend altho i reckon i shd be busy packing too.

i hope this wk will pass by vy fast...i wanted 2 fainted when an email told me i hav 2 rack my brains like mad 4 something like i did 2 mths ago...pls stop asking me 2 ans something i did way back...my brains nid a break too & i'm still using it now. i nid some leisure.

blabberings again...

itz supposed 2 be a nice job 2 bring into off-peak but i noe i cun be tat lucky. i passed tdy wif more disgust & irritation. i stepped into the meeting room tdy 2 c someone i'm (or rather everyone on the team) really pissed wif these days. much as he's a real eye-opener, he's the lousiest one too, everyone had 2 agree, even the In***** cun fight. the company is really operating like a charity at times or rather, 2 quote when a resource mgt staff once told me, we always nid ppl. ya, how rite. frm our new collz 2 these...great man, they reaffirm my desparate desire 2 leave. i cnt afford suffering another almost-attack hvg 2 wk wif/under them again. maybe wking wif the former is better now tho, i hav 2 chk wif U again. itz off-peak & also the time 4 a lot of ppl 2 start counting their time down wif the co. looking back, i nvr wan go thru the peak again but i've worked wif some impressive ppl & earned some friendship out of it...seen some real lousy stuffs. itz a rewarding experience aft all...i like 2 tin i've matured more wif this experience. i got 2 experience diverse working styles, stretching the tolerance level, getting nonchalant abt ppl's sarcasim, nagging, scolding, accusing & fingers pointing frm all fronts. there were times i was close 2 bursting into tears on the job bcoz i really really dun tin or wan 2 do it anymore. i like 2 tin i shd be stronger than i am previously.

haha...my sis was telling us tat her hp's spoilt. it muz be the aftermath of trying 2 decide if she wans 2 buy the same phone as mine since yday, so in her illusion, her hp's spoilt. turns out itz juz a case of no batt...haiz, my sis is juz capable of gaffes like this.

12 days 2 the break! & i was thinking i cld actually bring it fwd! cun wait...altho i heard hk's vy hot now...fat's already vy excited (only left she hvn really started packing yet altho she kept saying she shd...).

juliet has submitted her resignation last wk & i dunno if she's gg thru tat 'nobody-cares' feeling. itz dramatic. how did the ex-workplace be like wat it is now? still remember how we were like a family in the past...altho juliet & i can be as diverse as we r yet she can actually influence me & my working style & attitude now is partly attributed 2 her. much as i seem (feel) myself closer wif doris & kelly, therez this unexplainable therapy wif her when we wk tog. itz juz strange how everyone is gg everywhere now...it always seem like yesterday tat we shared our laughter, grudges against the bosses & plotted our nex meal frm the bosses. itz an unbelievable feeling. how nice if we were all still tog...hated 2 hear how unhappy everyone is...we shd really consider setting up the co tog. i find it amazing at times, we came frm different ages groups yet they r 1 bunch whom i feel really close 2 even tho we can dun meet up 4 sometime. we will feel like meeting up & updating each other abt life lately. i've always tot will it continue now tat everyone's moving on? there r some things tat might be inevitable but i had great memories. mac anyone soon? hee.

went JB wif thy BF's mom & bro on sat...new experience...& wif their help i din spend at all except at watsons & a pack of cuttlefish 4 dad. it was mother's day celebration the day was spoilt tho wif the incessant Q at the customs, not 2 mention the thk-u-vy-much non-existent aircon & a little tummyache at the end of the day. i had my butter crayfish...YAY!! i wonder if this trip did add pts...sometimes i wonder how his parents tot of me...like is their son gg 2 be in gd hands altho everyone (my family) wld tin itz the other way round. my parents seem okay wif him but then again they r simple folks (so it doesn't mean u r vy gd, hav 2 be more hardworking...haha...buy more things 4 me!)
ppl seem 2 hav this image of me not being 2 take care of myself, frail, spendthrift & spoilt so on. am i like wat they tin? so i tot sometimes ppl dun really understand me vy well also...sometimes i'm really not like wat u might tin of me. i'm blabbering again...i shd rest.

off-peak loh...

YAY...itz supposed 2 be the 1st day of official off-peak tdy!! altho i'm still on a job but it juz feels so gd...even tho therez an email circulated asking us 2 submit our timesheet on time 4 appraisal. i pondered 4 a while & heck care again, bcoz one, i've submitted & secondly i dun tin i'll hav anything gd 2 come out of it, so juz dun care lah, juz give me back my $$$.

i'm supposed 2 be quite sick tdy. i woke up wif a sore throat aft the durian yday. thy BF's family love durian, & the 1st time i noe dogs like durian too & they can even be selective over it. later in the aft, i got feverish. i envision myself seeing the doc tmr...NO!! i'll survive coz i'm watching Spiderman 3 tmr! YAY!! i juz had curry & quite a bit so too...hmm, not gd 4 myself huh...getting naUSEOUS again...haiz. tin i'll take a rest frm the com...

26 more days 2 my break!! cun wait...

found!!

after some relentless searching, i'm pleased 2 announce i found my prev payslips & i've e-filed! 1 lesser thing off my mind...Yay!!

itz almost 2am...itz gg 2 be another hard day & i had diarrhoea & gum-ache...so i shd dry my hair & hop onto bed...i dun care...i'll reach ard 10 later...sleep is more impt =P

i shd go 2 a place like this...

the sky is blue w/o any clouds...i can drive 4 40 mins & find a Calbee factory wif interesting favours. OOPs...hahahahhahahahah

btw, i took this pic...quite pro huh...heehee. maybe itz the place...no matter how u shoot, it will be like this =-)

wherez the payslips???!!!

where hav all my prev payslips gone? damn it!! i wanted 2 e-file tonite!! it isn't at where i tot it has always been at...damn it!! itz my own procrastination again...shit. now i hav 2 wait 4 the info again...damn...where can it be? i had the worst tots...it might be thrown away? or stacked in 1 of the boxes? but y r they even there in the 1st place? this is really shity. like the job i'm on now...the documents r everywhere & i felt so afraid of the filing room now...but they hav quite a nice pantry...reminds me of time at HF but i tin we were better then...we had so much more snacks & variety of drinks. & i saw my testimonial juz now...hmm, much as i miss the atmosphere there, i'm glad i've moved on bcoz maybe it wun get me anywhere.

i miss gg home on time. i miss being at home at the rite time. i miss sleeping at the rite time. i miss mommy's food. i miss my freedom of planning 4 anything i like. i miss hvg time 4 anything i like...when can things get back 2 normal?

news news

johnny the 'kpo'...hahaha...told me something shocking tdy...tat darling wans 2 chg bf again! big news...we'll all be shocked bcoz we still trying 2 ascertain whoz her bf in the 1st place...hahaha. messy woman. anyway, saw an email from her co saying they reci my appln. i'm a bit worried tat if they call 4 an interview & offers me the job, shd i accept? shipping lines & banks offer the best prospects & $$$...confused confused!! i dun wan stay in shipping all my life...ahhh. juz now i had a tot, 2 find SY & ask him 2 be my referee, maybe the banks might recognise him (as if) & i will stand a better chance...but i got a bit apprehensive thinking of wat happened b4. i admit i still get a bit sore & upset over the incident. it was like a total rejection altho there might be other reasons which i might nvr noe. i still like 2 believe he's a nice guy altho he's not predictable, he has a presence in my beautiful memories afterall (wif the ladies, bcoz we r too old 4 gals...haha). hope he's happy in aus...& dun get eaten by the sharks =P

i'm tired altho i'm learning...but doing too much is tiring...i got a taste of AIC, understood y they cun tahan...itz really a lot of shit. glad this job's ending but nex shit job's starting...i'm getting a knack checking the staff track vy often...i'm vy scared AIC will chg 2 some u-noe-whos. scary place...arrows shooting everywhere...i felt like hiding. i tin everytime someone at least 2 levels above me wan approach, i'll jump & wan scream.

i hope i'm meeting the acca gang 4 lunch later...i dun hav much time 4 frens lately...i hardly hav time 2 meet them. i got 3 bday prez outstanding (u noe who u r...haha). i nid 2 organise a family trip 2 HK 4 may. i'm trying 2 get FAT 2 be involved & thy BF, if he's gg...tatz the best. i'm trying 2 send resumes & increase chances of landing a new job soon. & sadly, i hav 2 do my job now. the thing working against me is time. i'm trying 2 handle all at the same time & itz really challenging at times. i hardly tok 2 my parents this wk. i wasn't home a day 4 dinner. i din spend more than 2 hrs everyday wif thy BF this wk which is rare...haha...so sticky...like superglue. as i'm typing, i realised i miss the gals, when was the last time we sat down 2 tok, laugh & made fun of each other? the same gals who were wif me thru highs & lows (sounds a bit mushy)...i'm trying 2 divert attention 4 not buying their bday prez yet...keke.

i'm quite excited abt the HK trip, abt gg abroad, abt hvg a break. it was a place wif rather nice memories aft all. my 1st time flying alone, staying in hotels alone, business travel, travelling wif the boss (tho he's in C class & me Y class), interacting wif overseas collz, enjoying the perks of being a guest, wanton mee, the peak wif no view (:x) yada yada yada.

i shd sleep tho. this is no gd 4 later since i reckon i'll be rushing ard a bit later. i wan my shopping, darling (the real one)! =P

bad cramp day...

oh my, itz a cold cold day & i'm on mc AGAIn...it has sort of became a once-in-a-mth ritual...i cun help it, i am really sick. i'm hvg the worst menstrual cramps of my life, so much so i tin i really wan 2 juz faint & die esp yday (eliz, i understand y take out the womb) & i had no choice but 2 resort 2 med bcoz i cun sustain anymore. itz still on tdy despite it being the 3rd day. i nid 2 exercise, i tot it was better when i did...i cun remember the last time i exercised, now tat is bad, esp now my lifestyle is so stressful. sometimes i tot, is it really tat stressful (some ppl seems okay but there r ppl who r really exhausted like me) or is it me? itz both bah. darling sent a seemingly-nice job appln 2 me...but i tot i wan try out 4 a bank 1st, it was y i got myself in this shit 1st. sometimes i was thinking: hvn i tot i dun like audit all along & y did i decide i will try it? the power of desparation is scary at times but i comfort myself all the time tat it was a move i had 2 take juz tat aft i took the move, things actually became easier 2 get 2 my desired destination...haiz. life's challenges 4 me...i will tin of happier stuffs. BUT i'm sad tat half of my mc day's gone...really sad coz i still hav 2 wk tmr...luckily itz fri & meeting S.U.L. later...btw, heard AIC 4 job where S.U.L grouped's leaving...somewhere i dun feel much...he's a nice guy but maybe he shd go coz itz too stressful. i got 2 update my CV but i tot my jobs aren't something 2 boast abt in tat...something i hated too. watz it wif the allocation tat jobs r so mismatched & u look at wat u've done so far...juz shit & nothing much...haiz. i got 2 live wif it, i learnt tat i dun ctrl anything & i shdn't care tat much.

thy BF has interviews tdy & tmr wif the same organisation...i hope he's successful yet i'm not sure if they r wat he wans. hope he's successful so tat prob ppl wun tin he's slacking at home & he gets stressed over it, i noe tat feeling but itz impt not 2 end up like his gf, got into somewhere she doesn't fit in & agonised herself & everyone ard her, esp him...haiz. i'm thinking, i wan 2 eat! crabs, buffets, dim sum, french toast frm kim gary, crystal jade porridge, bbq seafood, dou jiang you tiao, roasted stuffs, tomyam steamboat & food frm aus like spinach pizza (this one frm UQ is really nice), oportos (itz less sinful than kfc), tuna pasta (vy yummy frm melb), red rooster (nice peas...hee), lentil soup (a bit like tau suan but superb nice at apollo bay) & all the fd tat we cooked tog...ah, i wan 2 get away frm here. i shd watch some south park & eric cartman b4 i start nagging again. alrite, i'm sick, i shd be resting. 1 more thing, my com seems 2 cun mk it...the flickering on the lcd's getting worse...i got 2 be more thrifty again (i din get anything at the latest m)phosis sales & tdy's the last day of the sale altho i nid at least a new pair of slippers).

P.S: the above r disoriented tots like the one shiling had 4 her latest post =P

monday bluuueees...

itz been a month...& i'm still grumbling away (as usual)...DAMN DAMN DAMN!!! haha...i feel better! U. (part of S.U.L.) was updating me abt the sat job market situation...wahahaha. i seriously tin getting out wld be better 4 me, i BUAY TAHAN at times man. i had 2 keep convincing myself this is gd 4 my future while i'm really terribly miserable...no wonder i kept falling sick...haha...rubbish but i hav got something nice out of this like S.U.L. (which stands 4 Stupid Useless Loser). i'm L btw wif the hand gesture somemore...sometimes we r SULA (+ Ann aka Flying Killer who has left us 4 better life...wuwu). nice times they were...altho we were hvg tough moments, tat period was spent thru much laughter too (remember F.K. laughing in tears...haha, S being Stupid as usual & U being Useless...wahaha & of coz, TT!! the team's fave...wat a slacking team...no wonder we can stand each other...haha

time 4 bed...thy BF wun be too happy seeing this entry huh...heehee...itz juz monday blues. i tin i'll hav a fruitless morn tmr...got so much 2 do i dunno where 2 start man...hates it...forgive my incessant nagging & whining, i promise i will try 2 get out of all this soon hopefully...i find myself irritating at times even. well...hmm, 4 the better of myself & others, i shd give it a try...btw, i wan scold FAT & she avoided it by being not back yet, tat messy girl anyhow anyhow put my stuffs...she forgets i'm a dead volcano ready 2 erupt anytime man...duh (myself). i nid 2 sleep lah, i'm getting ridiculous.

koon...

i nid 2 sleep!

i wan 2 SLEEP!! but my hair is still wet...

i'm a groggy, grumpy fellow these days. itz not even PMS lor...it muz be the sleep. When can everyday be a non-working day? i'm only looking fwd 2 weekends nowadays & then grumbling abt the end of it starting sat nite, then sun morn...thy BF can vouch 2 it...every wk w/o fail, his silly gf will grumble...haha

went 4 a midnite casino royale last wk...itz not exactly the best choice since at times, i cun concentrate bcoz well, itz past bedtime...i'm getting old, i cun keep late nites like this...tsk.

i shan't blabber on like this...mabe some shopping therapy will do me good...hee

almost lost it =D

i got in!! i tot i've lost this blog bcoz i juz cun recall my gmail a/c when i actually got none...haha.

hvn been blogging 4 vy long lor...busy wif wk...a job i dun like...i can cfm it more & more by the day & i'm not attempting 2 hide it when ppl ask. it dipped my life 2 a all-new low. i nvr felt i'm so lousy b4 can. itz tat serious...haha. cun wait 4 jul...btw, we better get our salary reviewed, everyone's getting a bit disgruntled too, maybe not only a bit...dun count on us lor. been hearing ppl gg over 2 aus 2 wk, gg back aus, comes frm aus...i miss the place...thy BF & i hav been comparing some places 2 Southbank but therez seriously no fight...

so i decided 2 post this "2 become 1" wannabe pic...artistic ne. realised i din take much pics of the place despite being there quite a few times...hmm. haiz...i shall suggest a family trip there in 2 yrs' time...we'll go HK & maybe japan 1st.

i wan 2 get an evening bag...4 D&D...yes, i'm gg bcoz i've nvr been 2 one b4 (dun count the one in KL). i manage 2 scramble a dress frm sis, i suppose i'll wear an old pair of heels or the new pair i bought last sat, so i nid a bag. anyway, rumaging thru my stuffs mk me realise i nid more bags (i seriously cun even find a white or beige one...OMG), shoes (blacked covered, black slip-ons & many many other colours), clothes...as thy BF said, itz nvr gg 2 be enough...NEVER!! haha...CHRISTMAS is COMING!! (for someone ~~)

FAT wans an ipod 4 her bday can, so the vy nice me am waiting 4 her reply if she wans an ipod video or normal one (i seriously hope she chooses the cheaper one bcoz thy sister is getting broke...unless i get a pay raise) & i juz told her the prez is 4 2 yrs...haha...i enjoy the look on her face...wahahahaha

FAT bought a kinda weird cake 4 her bro juz now...itz his bday...it has this biscuit bit at the bottom...& the bday boy is too full 2 eat but she doesn't care...she wans eat...wat a stupid girl...haha. itz kelly's bday too & while frantically searching 4 my secondary email juz now, i found out itz another sec sch mate's bday...blimey...is it a gd day? 1 lesser day 2 staying at tat place...itz a gd day =P

blabberings typed out on 02 Nov 06, 0.30am

i shd be sleeping...but i decided 2 write something b4 i go off...

cheated by kelly...wahahaha...she din tok 2 me 4 more than 10 sentences b4 gg off...i hope she reads this tho she'll be prob too busy. i'm not advising her on gg or staying...dun wan 2 prove extra helpful again...keke.

itz thurs loh...how happy...the wk is ending!!! YAY!!!

i'm thinking whether 2 get the purple bag frm little matchgirl...itz nice & i like the colour ley...hmm, but i juz spent $30 eating at din tai fung...can u imagine? all johnny's fault...wahaha. worst still, in the end i still din get the tix 4 phantom...haiz...i hope we get decent seats. i dun wan 2 risk getting beaten =P

i hav quite a bit of paper cuts all over my fingers...i dinno auditor = labourer at times...the boxes r so damn heavy & i always knew paper is dangerous. i cun c my bruise at my back which i got frm knocking myself against a desk...i felt so miserable then. this job really sucks at times. haha...i manage 2 tok bad abt the job again...wahaha.

juz realised my new shoes gave me blisters =Z

blabberings typed out on 29 Oct 06, 6pm

sunday is ending soon...i noe nice times fly fast...can tat be said the same of my seemingly-sucky job now? i hav no qualms 2 say i hate it. i hate it bcoz i hate it. no offence to anything or anyone. period.

spent the day watching a bit of tv, cooking pasta & barley water, cleaning up the place...left the washing 4 now. hmm, i'm not training 2 be a housewife...juz fulfilling some filial piety thing. my parents r off 2 their fave holiday destination 4 the weekend, so everyone's helping out a little & since tdy is rather hot (& i'm getting heaty, bit my lips twice =Z), so i decided 2 cook the barley water which i hope is drinkable. had a tiring but enjoyable shopping trip yday, itz a sisters' day out & funny things kept happening. angela & i were off 2 c the doc tog...we delayed the trip so much we reached the clinic at 12.30pm, almost dying of hunger then. we happily gobbled our crystal jade (btw, the spinach bacon thing i ate was vy nice, so was fat's pizza bread) breads, thinking abt the sakae lunch treat from my sis coming up @#$#@$#%&^&, her world's-BEST-local-**** delayed her leaving time & left the 2 of us flabberglasted & badly needing a seat (coffee bean's closed), we ended up at pastamania & fat (always not full enough & wan 2 eat something) tins we shd order a pasta. then the pasta came seemingly-not-very-cooked. up 2 this point, i was feeling so sucky, hvg a bad headache frm the heat & juz felt like gg home. we went 2 seiyu aft tat, aft buying things, i recovered! so miraculous huh...hee. my sis finally arrived & she's hungry, so the 3 of us went 2 sakae (finally) at 4+...& kept staring the conveyor belt, thinking therez not much we wan eat...the worst part is fat getting a headache frm watching the conveyor belt too much...she's ridiculous as ever. shopping continues aft the meal but we seem lacklustre. & sis got hungry again ard 8 2 our surprise (& agony). fat & my mealtimes were vy irregular yday...so we headed to the foodcourt where we spent half an hr thinking wat my sis shd hav...the elderly couple beside muz tin the 3 of us siao...3 persons sharing a bowl of black-rice-porridge cnt decide on main course. itz sure tough deciding 4 3 persons bcoz therez nothing we all wan 2 hav & we nearly switched destinations. when we happily settled on korean ginseng chicken, it was sold out. so aft another 'long' round of discussion, my sis bought some chinese gyozas & some hot & spicy soup which wasn't nice -_"'. when we finally reached the busstop 2 head 4 home, we saw a stall of wanton mee which looks vy nice...^&&*&($$$##@ tat concludes the day but i love spending it wif my sisters =D

watched the departed on thurs...understood y andy lau had some comments abt the amt of vulgarity in the show. it gets irritating at a point i felt like giving up the show. i cun really stand vulgar language, so i tin the original was better. andy lau is better. i felt ridiculous abt the way his character died in departed. itz like they dun hav enough time 4 tat & juz hav him die anyway.

argh, i can feel the ulcers coming up. sian...i dun wan 2 miss my food nex wk...but i better watch out in order not 2 get a sore throat. it seems like a busy wk & 1 i'll happily pass thru. thy bf is coming back nex sat. i noe everyone tins i shd be vy happy but i cun help getting emotional at times coz it wasn't easy...esp thinking abt wat the past mths hav been like. things i hav been thinking abt 4 mths r finally gg 2 happen soon bah, juz spending time & doing simple (not silly hopefully) stuffs tog & i can nag 2 him abt all things sucky in person liao...YAY!!! sometimes tho, i do hope i'm the one gg over & we r gg 2 live over there bcoz i'm juz so tired of the place (tatz how a sucky job hais u) but of coz, we hav nothing 2 be there yet & my glutton of a bf cun wait 2 be back 2 eat...his savoury glands r vy active now. i can understand. i miss the variety of food here even tho i'm only there 4 2 wks+.

a discoherent heap of stuffs written again. i juz wan 2 be able 2 recollect these tots in some time 2 come coz i noe i'll forget. i nid memory pills at times. btw, anyone nids a webcam? mine has served its purpose 4 the last time juz now...YAY!! =P

b4 i wash up...keke

i'm blogging b4 i go wash up...*to someone in particular =P

lovely...tdy is fri!!! i'm quite a fiery person tdy...due 2 the cramp...& hormonal thing...*i wan chocolates!!!* i'm thinking of shopping in this state! i wan some belts, earrings, clothes & shoes!!! i wan a haircut! shd i go 4 shoulder length? i noe i'll regret when i c all the flyaways...but sometimes i'm so tired of seeing the same me in the mirror everyday. i feel so sian of dressing up...muz be the job =P

i keep thinking my suitability on the job...itz juz not vy me...yet this is wat i kept hawking 4...haiz...so my odeon darling was vy shocked when i asked her 2 keep a lookout of jobs 4 me...haha...i like teasing her...itz vy funny...wahaha.

i'm trying 2 cancel some membership thingy i got in my 1st job...PISSED...they nvr got back...damn it, i shdn't hav procrastinate...SIAN!!

my uncle is hvg a bday dinner tmr...so funny...maybe tatz the 1st time he even had such a celebration in his life, so we muz give face...but fat already fell sick...haiz...haha. sometimes i look at my uncle & tot itz so sad not 2 hav a family by him at his age, so i try 2 be nicer (when he doesn't go out of his way 2 irritate us when he noes we will be!) =)

okay...time 2 wash up :P

random (& messy) tots...=P

i'm supposed 2 sleep...but i guess i got all the time 2 do it during the technical update tmr...ha. was told itz real boring. my latest job group seems nice...but not everyone will be back 4 the finals tho...had fun chatting & joking ard...will remember the walkthrough joke...ha. i'm in an environment where everyone is quite open abt their non-intentions 2 stay 4 long & tatz something i hav 2 get used 2...was told i'm actually in a vy gossipy environment, so always dun only c things on the surface. lately i hav been thinking wat do i wan out of this job...a smoother path 2 the nex job? meet more ppl? somehow i feel i'm still out of the picture looking at things inside...no, i'm not imagining tat i'm not in the situation but somehow due 2 past experience, i ahh, dunno how 2 express it in words...am able 2 look at certain situations & laugh it off? i'll hav frens in the co but perhaps not close...hmm, do i mind tat? i dunno...altho it seems gd 2 be involved but sometimes i'm glad i dun hav tat many contacts, i'm not energetic (& rich) 4 so many entertainments. i sounded kuku when i told ppl i love gg home aft wk...an ex-jobs cultivation. nowhere is more comfortable than home bah...i love being at home, love my family, love honey, love my bed, love the comfort & sense of belonging...i'm blabbering...haha

i got my cds, some miscellaneous & a vy ugly necklace frm my uncle, they look those u chant wif...wonder how he got himself 2 buy tat & all the way frm taiwan somemore...waste money! i spent 5 days of isolation (not much actually) when they were. finally went 4 langyi's dad's claypot rice...it was nice! itz always fun hanging out wif the gals...altho i'm kinda paiseh 2 c them still making the effort 2 accompany despite being vy tired...thks thks! *bows...we hav many yrs of friendship, so NO no signboard lah...haha.

jay singing in bossa nova...altho critics tin itz kinda weird but i tin itz nice...thinking wat he'll do in the mtv & concert...some tango? david's is well, vy david but still nice. 2 someone (pirate) in particular, i hvn (& dunno if i will) upload the album into my com.

my sis juz told me how much i still owe her...OMG...it means curbing my spending 4 another 2 mths...huh...when can i start saving? i keep thinking i nid shoes lately...stop it!!! it gets so solemn thinking of my financial status & how i hav save 4 this & tat so i hope i'll be rather busy wif wk so tat i dun get 2 spend much. thinking back...i used most of my finance 2 get myself 2 vy enjoyable & memorable trips in aus this yr, so itz worthed it & someone shd start saving 4 our HK, Japan & NZ trips in future...haha...& i hvn mentioned taiwan,bangkok, greece, ITALY, tasmania & more 2 come...ha.

speaking abt bangkok...they r experiencing a military coup. nobody noes watz gg 2 happen frm there but i juz hope no bloodshed...itz depressing seeing such news everytime. i hvn been 2 thailand b4 & i do hope 2 go 2 1 tat i've heard fondly of =)

finally we got the chalet 4 dec...thks 2 yinghui...it has sort of become a yearly thing huh...how wld things be in 3, 5 or 10 yrs' time? i noe it wun remain the same...i realised i do like reminisicing the past. i cun resist changes but some things r best left where & how they r isn't it? the world wun slow down 4 anything but itz moving so fast tat prob most of us can hardly catch it?

alrite...bedtime...YAY...2 more days 2 weekends!!!!!! =D

*is there anything u wan 2 tell me 4 tdy?* =P

*is there anything i wan 2 tell u 4 tdy?* erm, all these silly stuffs? =b

i wan to be AWAY!!!

there were times i'm grateful of the position i'm in & there were times i simply hated the position i'm in. i wish i hav a more carefree life but i cun stay unemployed. i wish i'm happier yet i'm let down by my pressure & emotions again & again. where has my inner peace gone? i keep worrying & stressing myself up...this is not wat itz supposed 2 be...wat went wrong?

telling myself: itz wk, juz wk! all in the normal course of wk! stop brooding over it will u?!

am i depressed? i tin i am. dun ask me y i got it, i wished i knew.

dun hav 2 worry...

got in finally...some pros wif logging in juz now...

itz sep liao!!! finally...i managed 2 stay 4 a mth on the job! i tin i'm beginning 2 empathise wif shiling's job sense more & more (no...i'm not fighting wif her 2 be star***'s most LOYAL employee...haha). i dun really like the enviroment...itz like a sch...scary...an extension of a certain tertiary institution. i was so not used 2 it, then i found out i lack audit sense in my brains...i'm hvg the newcomer's syndrome...confused by all the doc & how they link...maybe i do nid some homework. i'm stressing myself up again, the work perfectionist in me...i guess i really nid 2 relax but peak period is up soon & anyway, my schedule is rather packed, i'll immense myself in wk bah & try not tin so much...then there will be no more insonmia, loss of appetite...siao ley me, wk until like tat & i dun earn much 4 all this...ha

i tin i had insonmia last nite bcoz i was thinking abt life & death last nite...i was vy surprised 2 read abt crocodile hunter, steve irwin's death...my last vivid memory of him was seeing him on tv telling us not 2 bring certain items into aus while clearing customs. i remember getting quite nervy seeing tat coz i was trying 2 bring in a lotus root (under eliz's advice) which was not allowed...wat a irony & final twist 2 his life. i juz simply felt vy sad upon reading the news...the meaning here once again is u cun take things 4 granted...wat or who might be here tdy might be not the nex day...so so sad yet itz an unavoidable aspect of life. i nvr like thinking how wld i feel if ppl dearest 2 me moved out of my life 1 day, i get totally upset & terrified wif the slightest tot...i remember crying myself 2 sleep when i tot of how ppl ard me wld leave me 1 day. i do quite dread being alone when my family goes away 4 their holidays. itz so much worse than 'if u got a choice 2 be alone & u chose it'...therez like no channel 2 drive away the loneliness...maybe bcoz i do feel rather lonely at wk now...yes, i hav ppl ard me but itz juz so so diff. miss hvg juliet, doris & kelly 2 tok 2 & we can tok abt anything, dun hav 2 withhold anything bcoz we understand each other. sometimes, i asked myself, y am i struggling 2 adapt? is it really tat bad or i juz simply dun wan 2 adapt? y do i constantly affect myself wif all these tots when i hav told myself 2 let go, be myself, be happy? but deep deep inside, i noe i'm unhappy...i broke down into tears vy often, i dunno when's the last time i've laughed really happily & i tin i'm at the unhappiest period of my life so far...yet sometimes i find it hard communicating 2 ppl on my feelings. they will prob tell me itz like this or look at me like some weirdo, thinking i'm a spoilt brat who cun stand the slightest stuffs. sometimes i tin perhaps my communication is not gd, ppl mistook my points & i do get tired of toking aft a while. is changing 2 adapt the only way 4 survival? wat happens 2 happiness? dun i nid 2 be happy, if not y do i survive at all? 2 mk ppl share my unhappiness? argh...i tin i'm getting carried away wif all these, btw, ppl at my workplace r quite nice so far but...therez always a but. i miss my buddies. maybe it wld be better if therez msn during wk, at least i dun feel so disconnected.

oh no, got 2 sleep liao...itz gonna be a long day tmr...gg 4 forbidden city, actually glad i'm meeting the gals...i nid sanity BUT i dun tin they will provide me wif tat...haha.

2 mths 2 go...maybe tatz when my sanity will come back...=P