i'm blogging b4 i go wash up...*to someone in particular =P
lovely...tdy is fri!!! i'm quite a fiery person tdy...due 2 the cramp...& hormonal thing...*i wan chocolates!!!* i'm thinking of shopping in this state! i wan some belts, earrings, clothes & shoes!!! i wan a haircut! shd i go 4 shoulder length? i noe i'll regret when i c all the flyaways...but sometimes i'm so tired of seeing the same me in the mirror everyday. i feel so sian of dressing up...muz be the job =P
i keep thinking my suitability on the job...itz juz not vy me...yet this is wat i kept hawking 4...haiz...so my odeon darling was vy shocked when i asked her 2 keep a lookout of jobs 4 me...haha...i like teasing her...itz vy funny...wahaha.
i'm trying 2 cancel some membership thingy i got in my 1st job...PISSED...they nvr got back...damn it, i shdn't hav procrastinate...SIAN!!
my uncle is hvg a bday dinner tmr...so funny...maybe tatz the 1st time he even had such a celebration in his life, so we muz give face...but fat already fell sick...haiz...haha. sometimes i look at my uncle & tot itz so sad not 2 hav a family by him at his age, so i try 2 be nicer (when he doesn't go out of his way 2 irritate us when he noes we will be!) =)
okay...time 2 wash up :P
Friday, September 29, 2006
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
random (& messy) tots...=P
i'm supposed 2 sleep...but i guess i got all the time 2 do it during the technical update tmr...ha. was told itz real boring. my latest job group seems nice...but not everyone will be back 4 the finals tho...had fun chatting & joking ard...will remember the walkthrough joke...ha. i'm in an environment where everyone is quite open abt their non-intentions 2 stay 4 long & tatz something i hav 2 get used 2...was told i'm actually in a vy gossipy environment, so always dun only c things on the surface. lately i hav been thinking wat do i wan out of this job...a smoother path 2 the nex job? meet more ppl? somehow i feel i'm still out of the picture looking at things inside...no, i'm not imagining tat i'm not in the situation but somehow due 2 past experience, i ahh, dunno how 2 express it in words...am able 2 look at certain situations & laugh it off? i'll hav frens in the co but perhaps not close...hmm, do i mind tat? i dunno...altho it seems gd 2 be involved but sometimes i'm glad i dun hav tat many contacts, i'm not energetic (& rich) 4 so many entertainments. i sounded kuku when i told ppl i love gg home aft wk...an ex-jobs cultivation. nowhere is more comfortable than home bah...i love being at home, love my family, love honey, love my bed, love the comfort & sense of belonging...i'm blabbering...haha
i got my cds, some miscellaneous & a vy ugly necklace frm my uncle, they look those u chant wif...wonder how he got himself 2 buy tat & all the way frm taiwan somemore...waste money! i spent 5 days of isolation (not much actually) when they were. finally went 4 langyi's dad's claypot rice...it was nice! itz always fun hanging out wif the gals...altho i'm kinda paiseh 2 c them still making the effort 2 accompany despite being vy tired...thks thks! *bows...we hav many yrs of friendship, so NO no signboard lah...haha.
jay singing in bossa nova...altho critics tin itz kinda weird but i tin itz nice...thinking wat he'll do in the mtv & concert...some tango? david's is well, vy david but still nice. 2 someone (pirate) in particular, i hvn (& dunno if i will) upload the album into my com.
my sis juz told me how much i still owe her...OMG...it means curbing my spending 4 another 2 mths...huh...when can i start saving? i keep thinking i nid shoes lately...stop it!!! it gets so solemn thinking of my financial status & how i hav save 4 this & tat so i hope i'll be rather busy wif wk so tat i dun get 2 spend much. thinking back...i used most of my finance 2 get myself 2 vy enjoyable & memorable trips in aus this yr, so itz worthed it & someone shd start saving 4 our HK, Japan & NZ trips in future...haha...& i hvn mentioned taiwan,bangkok, greece, ITALY, tasmania & more 2 come...ha.
speaking abt bangkok...they r experiencing a military coup. nobody noes watz gg 2 happen frm there but i juz hope no bloodshed...itz depressing seeing such news everytime. i hvn been 2 thailand b4 & i do hope 2 go 2 1 tat i've heard fondly of =)
finally we got the chalet 4 dec...thks 2 yinghui...it has sort of become a yearly thing huh...how wld things be in 3, 5 or 10 yrs' time? i noe it wun remain the same...i realised i do like reminisicing the past. i cun resist changes but some things r best left where & how they r isn't it? the world wun slow down 4 anything but itz moving so fast tat prob most of us can hardly catch it?
alrite...bedtime...YAY...2 more days 2 weekends!!!!!! =D
*is there anything u wan 2 tell me 4 tdy?* =P
*is there anything i wan 2 tell u 4 tdy?* erm, all these silly stuffs? =b
i got my cds, some miscellaneous & a vy ugly necklace frm my uncle, they look those u chant wif...wonder how he got himself 2 buy tat & all the way frm taiwan somemore...waste money! i spent 5 days of isolation (not much actually) when they were. finally went 4 langyi's dad's claypot rice...it was nice! itz always fun hanging out wif the gals...altho i'm kinda paiseh 2 c them still making the effort 2 accompany despite being vy tired...thks thks! *bows...we hav many yrs of friendship, so NO no signboard lah...haha.
jay singing in bossa nova...altho critics tin itz kinda weird but i tin itz nice...thinking wat he'll do in the mtv & concert...some tango? david's is well, vy david but still nice. 2 someone (pirate) in particular, i hvn (& dunno if i will) upload the album into my com.
my sis juz told me how much i still owe her...OMG...it means curbing my spending 4 another 2 mths...huh...when can i start saving? i keep thinking i nid shoes lately...stop it!!! it gets so solemn thinking of my financial status & how i hav save 4 this & tat so i hope i'll be rather busy wif wk so tat i dun get 2 spend much. thinking back...i used most of my finance 2 get myself 2 vy enjoyable & memorable trips in aus this yr, so itz worthed it & someone shd start saving 4 our HK, Japan & NZ trips in future...haha...& i hvn mentioned taiwan,bangkok, greece, ITALY, tasmania & more 2 come...ha.
speaking abt bangkok...they r experiencing a military coup. nobody noes watz gg 2 happen frm there but i juz hope no bloodshed...itz depressing seeing such news everytime. i hvn been 2 thailand b4 & i do hope 2 go 2 1 tat i've heard fondly of =)
finally we got the chalet 4 dec...thks 2 yinghui...it has sort of become a yearly thing huh...how wld things be in 3, 5 or 10 yrs' time? i noe it wun remain the same...i realised i do like reminisicing the past. i cun resist changes but some things r best left where & how they r isn't it? the world wun slow down 4 anything but itz moving so fast tat prob most of us can hardly catch it?
alrite...bedtime...YAY...2 more days 2 weekends!!!!!! =D
*is there anything u wan 2 tell me 4 tdy?* =P
*is there anything i wan 2 tell u 4 tdy?* erm, all these silly stuffs? =b
Friday, September 08, 2006
i wan to be AWAY!!!
there were times i'm grateful of the position i'm in & there were times i simply hated the position i'm in. i wish i hav a more carefree life but i cun stay unemployed. i wish i'm happier yet i'm let down by my pressure & emotions again & again. where has my inner peace gone? i keep worrying & stressing myself up...this is not wat itz supposed 2 be...wat went wrong?
telling myself: itz wk, juz wk! all in the normal course of wk! stop brooding over it will u?!
am i depressed? i tin i am. dun ask me y i got it, i wished i knew.
telling myself: itz wk, juz wk! all in the normal course of wk! stop brooding over it will u?!
am i depressed? i tin i am. dun ask me y i got it, i wished i knew.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
dun hav 2 worry...
got in finally...some pros wif logging in juz now...
itz sep liao!!! finally...i managed 2 stay 4 a mth on the job! i tin i'm beginning 2 empathise wif shiling's job sense more & more (no...i'm not fighting wif her 2 be star***'s most LOYAL employee...haha). i dun really like the enviroment...itz like a sch...scary...an extension of a certain tertiary institution. i was so not used 2 it, then i found out i lack audit sense in my brains...i'm hvg the newcomer's syndrome...confused by all the doc & how they link...maybe i do nid some homework. i'm stressing myself up again, the work perfectionist in me...i guess i really nid 2 relax but peak period is up soon & anyway, my schedule is rather packed, i'll immense myself in wk bah & try not tin so much...then there will be no more insonmia, loss of appetite...siao ley me, wk until like tat & i dun earn much 4 all this...ha
i tin i had insonmia last nite bcoz i was thinking abt life & death last nite...i was vy surprised 2 read abt crocodile hunter, steve irwin's death...my last vivid memory of him was seeing him on tv telling us not 2 bring certain items into aus while clearing customs. i remember getting quite nervy seeing tat coz i was trying 2 bring in a lotus root (under eliz's advice) which was not allowed...wat a irony & final twist 2 his life. i juz simply felt vy sad upon reading the news...the meaning here once again is u cun take things 4 granted...wat or who might be here tdy might be not the nex day...so so sad yet itz an unavoidable aspect of life. i nvr like thinking how wld i feel if ppl dearest 2 me moved out of my life 1 day, i get totally upset & terrified wif the slightest tot...i remember crying myself 2 sleep when i tot of how ppl ard me wld leave me 1 day. i do quite dread being alone when my family goes away 4 their holidays. itz so much worse than 'if u got a choice 2 be alone & u chose it'...therez like no channel 2 drive away the loneliness...maybe bcoz i do feel rather lonely at wk now...yes, i hav ppl ard me but itz juz so so diff. miss hvg juliet, doris & kelly 2 tok 2 & we can tok abt anything, dun hav 2 withhold anything bcoz we understand each other. sometimes, i asked myself, y am i struggling 2 adapt? is it really tat bad or i juz simply dun wan 2 adapt? y do i constantly affect myself wif all these tots when i hav told myself 2 let go, be myself, be happy? but deep deep inside, i noe i'm unhappy...i broke down into tears vy often, i dunno when's the last time i've laughed really happily & i tin i'm at the unhappiest period of my life so far...yet sometimes i find it hard communicating 2 ppl on my feelings. they will prob tell me itz like this or look at me like some weirdo, thinking i'm a spoilt brat who cun stand the slightest stuffs. sometimes i tin perhaps my communication is not gd, ppl mistook my points & i do get tired of toking aft a while. is changing 2 adapt the only way 4 survival? wat happens 2 happiness? dun i nid 2 be happy, if not y do i survive at all? 2 mk ppl share my unhappiness? argh...i tin i'm getting carried away wif all these, btw, ppl at my workplace r quite nice so far but...therez always a but. i miss my buddies. maybe it wld be better if therez msn during wk, at least i dun feel so disconnected.
oh no, got 2 sleep liao...itz gonna be a long day tmr...gg 4 forbidden city, actually glad i'm meeting the gals...i nid sanity BUT i dun tin they will provide me wif tat...haha.
2 mths 2 go...maybe tatz when my sanity will come back...=P
itz sep liao!!! finally...i managed 2 stay 4 a mth on the job! i tin i'm beginning 2 empathise wif shiling's job sense more & more (no...i'm not fighting wif her 2 be star***'s most LOYAL employee...haha). i dun really like the enviroment...itz like a sch...scary...an extension of a certain tertiary institution. i was so not used 2 it, then i found out i lack audit sense in my brains...i'm hvg the newcomer's syndrome...confused by all the doc & how they link...maybe i do nid some homework. i'm stressing myself up again, the work perfectionist in me...i guess i really nid 2 relax but peak period is up soon & anyway, my schedule is rather packed, i'll immense myself in wk bah & try not tin so much...then there will be no more insonmia, loss of appetite...siao ley me, wk until like tat & i dun earn much 4 all this...ha
i tin i had insonmia last nite bcoz i was thinking abt life & death last nite...i was vy surprised 2 read abt crocodile hunter, steve irwin's death...my last vivid memory of him was seeing him on tv telling us not 2 bring certain items into aus while clearing customs. i remember getting quite nervy seeing tat coz i was trying 2 bring in a lotus root (under eliz's advice) which was not allowed...wat a irony & final twist 2 his life. i juz simply felt vy sad upon reading the news...the meaning here once again is u cun take things 4 granted...wat or who might be here tdy might be not the nex day...so so sad yet itz an unavoidable aspect of life. i nvr like thinking how wld i feel if ppl dearest 2 me moved out of my life 1 day, i get totally upset & terrified wif the slightest tot...i remember crying myself 2 sleep when i tot of how ppl ard me wld leave me 1 day. i do quite dread being alone when my family goes away 4 their holidays. itz so much worse than 'if u got a choice 2 be alone & u chose it'...therez like no channel 2 drive away the loneliness...maybe bcoz i do feel rather lonely at wk now...yes, i hav ppl ard me but itz juz so so diff. miss hvg juliet, doris & kelly 2 tok 2 & we can tok abt anything, dun hav 2 withhold anything bcoz we understand each other. sometimes, i asked myself, y am i struggling 2 adapt? is it really tat bad or i juz simply dun wan 2 adapt? y do i constantly affect myself wif all these tots when i hav told myself 2 let go, be myself, be happy? but deep deep inside, i noe i'm unhappy...i broke down into tears vy often, i dunno when's the last time i've laughed really happily & i tin i'm at the unhappiest period of my life so far...yet sometimes i find it hard communicating 2 ppl on my feelings. they will prob tell me itz like this or look at me like some weirdo, thinking i'm a spoilt brat who cun stand the slightest stuffs. sometimes i tin perhaps my communication is not gd, ppl mistook my points & i do get tired of toking aft a while. is changing 2 adapt the only way 4 survival? wat happens 2 happiness? dun i nid 2 be happy, if not y do i survive at all? 2 mk ppl share my unhappiness? argh...i tin i'm getting carried away wif all these, btw, ppl at my workplace r quite nice so far but...therez always a but. i miss my buddies. maybe it wld be better if therez msn during wk, at least i dun feel so disconnected.
oh no, got 2 sleep liao...itz gonna be a long day tmr...gg 4 forbidden city, actually glad i'm meeting the gals...i nid sanity BUT i dun tin they will provide me wif tat...haha.
2 mths 2 go...maybe tatz when my sanity will come back...=P
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